Why I Failed at 100 Diets and Finally Succeeded: A Mindset Shift

Hi, I’m Jonathan Ressler, and let me tell you something: I am the self-proclaimed king of failed diets. If there’s a fad, a cleanse, or a “miracle plan,” I’ve tried it. Atkins? Been there. Keto? Yup. Cabbage soup diet? Don’t even get me started. For years, I jumped from one program to the next, chasing quick fixes and hoping the next plan would be the one.

Spoiler alert: it never was.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to understand: the problem wasn’t the diets. They all “worked” for a while. The real issue was my mindset. Until I fixed the way I thought about weight loss, food, and my own worth, no plan—no matter how perfect—was going to work long-term.

In the latest episode of my podcast, “Shut Up and Choose,” I dig deep into this idea. I share my personal struggles, explore why fad diets fail, and explain why your mindset—not your meal plan—is the ultimate key to unlocking lasting change. Let me walk you through how I turned things around and how you can do the same.

Step 1: Diets Aren’t the Answer

Here’s the thing about diets: they’re designed to sell you a dream. “Lose 20 pounds in 30 days!” “Eat this and never feel hungry again!” They promise quick fixes, and for a while, they deliver. But as I discovered the hard way, they don’t address the real issues that drive our eating habits: stress, boredom, and that sneaky little thing called life.

Why I Failed So Many Times

The All-or-Nothing Trap
I used to think I had to be perfect to succeed. If I ate one “bad” meal, I’d throw in the towel and binge for the rest of the week. My mindset was stuck in this toxic cycle where I thought one misstep ruined everything.
- Example: After overindulging at a party, I’d think, “Well, I’ve already blown it—might as well go all out.” Sound familiar?
Food as My Emotional Crutch
I relied on food for comfort. Stressful day at work? Pizza. Bored on a Friday night? Ice cream. Sad? Let’s make it a double scoop. I wasn’t eating because I was hungry—I was eating because I didn’t know how else to deal with my emotions.
- Example: After a tough meeting, I’d swing by the drive-thru because it felt like a “reward” for surviving the day.
Chasing Quick Fixes
I didn’t want slow, steady progress. I wanted dramatic results, and I wanted them yesterday. That impatience led me to try extreme diets that were impossible to stick with.
- Example: I’d survive on juice cleanses for three days, lose a few pounds, and then binge because I was starving.

Step 2: Shifting My Mindset

What finally worked for me wasn’t another diet. It was learning to change the way I thought about food, weight loss, and myself. Your mindset is like the foundation of a house: if it’s cracked, nothing you build on top of it will last.

How I Fixed My Mindset

Progress Over Perfection
Perfectionism was killing me. I realized I didn’t have to be perfect to make progress.
- Mindset Shift: One bad meal doesn’t ruin your progress, just like one healthy meal doesn’t magically fix everything.
- Example: If I ate a donut for breakfast, I didn’t throw away the rest of the day. I made a healthier choice at lunch and kept going.
Food as Fuel, Not Therapy
I started addressing my emotions instead of burying them in food.
- Mindset Shift: Food won’t fix your feelings. It’s okay to feel stressed, sad, or bored without reaching for snacks.
- Example: When I felt overwhelmed, I took a walk, journaled, or called a friend instead of grabbing junk food.
Rethinking Failure
I used to see failure as proof that I wasn’t good enough. Now, I see it as part of the process.
- Mindset Shift: Failure isn’t the end—it’s feedback. Learn from it and keep going.
- Example: When I hit a plateau, I evaluated my habits and made small adjustments instead of giving up.

Step 3: Finding My “Why”

Here’s the real secret: you need a reason to lose weight that’s bigger than fitting into skinny jeans or impressing people at your high school reunion. For years, I had superficial goals, and they never kept me going when things got tough.

What changed? I found my “why.”

My Why:

I wanted to feel energized and confident.
I wanted to be healthy enough to enjoy life with my family.
I wanted to avoid the health issues that ran in my family.

How to Find Your Why

Ask Yourself These Questions:
1. What’s at stake if I don’t change?
2. How will my life improve when I succeed?
3. Who else benefits when I’m healthier and happier?
Write It Down: Put your “why” somewhere you’ll see it every day.

Step 4: Shutting Out the Noise

The diet industry doesn’t want you to succeed. They thrive on your failure because it keeps you buying their products. Add in unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and family, and it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.

How I Quieted the Noise

I Set Boundaries
I stopped letting other people’s opinions distract me. A simple, “Thanks, but I’ve got this,” worked wonders.
I Stopped Following Diet Culture
I unfollowed influencers and accounts that made me feel bad about myself.
I Focused on My Journey
My goals, my values, and my pace—nothing else mattered.

Final Thoughts: Mindset Is the Game-Changer

Here’s the truth: weight loss has never been about finding the perfect diet. It’s about finding yourself. It’s about breaking free from the mental chains that keep you stuck in a cycle of failure and frustration.

When I finally shifted my mindset, everything changed. I stopped chasing quick fixes and started focusing on small, sustainable changes. I learned to be patient, to forgive myself for slip-ups, and to celebrate progress instead of chasing perfection.

Imagine the Future You

Picture this:

You wake up feeling energized and confident.
You approach food with peace, not guilt or anxiety.
You’re living a life that aligns with your values and goals, free from the constraints of fad diets.

That version of you is possible. It doesn’t come from another diet—it comes from you choosing, every single day, to show up and do the work.

This time, don’t just shut up and choose a diet. Shut up and choose yourself.

You’ve got this.