The Caveman Diet Is So 10,000 BC!

In a world where extreme diets like Paleo or Caveman promise quick fixes, it’s easy to get caught in the cycle of rapid weight loss, followed by frustration and weight regain. I know this all too well—having lost 86 pounds on the Paleo diet, only to eventually regain the weight once I started reintroducing foods I genuinely enjoyed. As I learned, the promises of these restrictive diets can lure us in, but they often lead to unsustainable habits and, ultimately, disappointment.

In this episode of my podcast, Shut Up and Choose, I dig deep into my journey with the Paleo diet, what I learned from it, and why embracing a balanced, inclusive approach to food has proven far more effective in the long run. Let’s talk about why restrictive diets often fail, why moderation and portion control work better, and how making small, enjoyable choices has transformed my weight-loss journey.

The Allure of the Paleo Diet and Its Hidden Challenges

The Paleo diet’s appeal is easy to see. It promises a return to the simpler eating habits of our prehistoric ancestors, focusing on lean meats, fish, fruits, and vegetables, while excluding grains, dairy, and processed foods. And sure, the idea sounds great on paper—what could be wrong with eating closer to nature, right? But in reality, the rigidity of the Paleo diet made social eating challenging and turned every holiday meal into a potential pitfall. As enjoyable as those early weeks of weight loss felt, the diet’s restrictions created a type of food anxiety that was unsustainable.

One of the main reasons I initially stuck with Paleo was that it worked—at least in the short term. Cutting out entire food groups created an instant calorie deficit, which made the weight come off fast. But it also led me to start fearing certain foods, like bread and cheese, and built up a long list of “forbidden foods” in my mind. And what happens when you finally indulge in those foods you’ve been avoiding? For most people, including me, it leads to overeating and feelings of guilt—a setup for a vicious cycle of deprivation and indulgence.

The Pitfalls of Extreme Dieting: Why Exclusion Doesn’t Work Long Term

Extreme diets like Paleo often come with a major downside: they don’t allow room for the foods that bring us joy and connect us socially. Eliminating grains and dairy meant that many “normal” eating experiences felt off-limits to me. Family dinners, eating out with friends, and holidays became stress points, making me feel isolated and sometimes even anxious about food.

The problem with this all-or-nothing approach is that it doesn’t allow for balance. You’re either 100% in, avoiding entire food groups, or you’re off the rails. When you’re trying to follow restrictive rules, it’s easy to feel guilty if you have a slip-up, leading to a negative relationship with food. In my journey, I came to realize that if I wanted a healthy relationship with food, I needed to break free from the idea that food groups were “good” or “bad.”

Modern nutrition shows that grains and dairy are not just acceptable—they’re beneficial. Grains offer fiber, which is essential for digestion and can keep you feeling full longer, while dairy provides calcium and vitamin D, which support bone health. Rather than making foods off-limits, I started seeing the value of embracing a variety of food groups as part of a well-rounded diet.

Choosing Moderation and Portion Control Over Restriction

Instead of banning entire food groups, I began focusing on portion control and moderation. I learned that I could enjoy the foods I love without feeling guilty, as long as I practiced balance. This flexible approach allowed me to have occasional indulgences—pizza with friends, a slice of birthday cake, or a bowl of pasta—without feeling like I was “cheating” or sabotaging my goals.

Moderation has been the game-changer in my journey. It’s not only more sustainable than strict restriction, but it also promotes a positive relationship with food. With this approach, there’s no need to deny yourself the foods that bring you joy or to obsess over every calorie. Instead, I focus on the concept of portion control and mindful eating, making it easy to indulge occasionally while staying on track.

In Shut Up and Choose, I advocate for this flexible approach because it allows us to make food choices that are both satisfying and manageable. Life is too short to live in fear of carbs or dairy, and I’ve learned that the key to long-term health and weight management is about including the foods you love, not eliminating them.

Breaking Free from the All-or-Nothing Mentality

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the danger of an all-or-nothing mindset. This mentality, common in restrictive diets, often leads to burnout and a negative cycle of bingeing and regret. For many people, myself included, attempting to stick to a “perfect” diet leads to an overwhelming sense of failure the moment we have a “forbidden” food. The stress and guilt associated with trying to maintain unrealistic dietary rules take a toll, both emotionally and physically.

Adopting a more balanced approach has freed me from that mental rollercoaster. Instead of aiming for perfection, I now focus on progress. If I make a food choice that doesn’t align with my goals, I don’t spiral—I simply make a better choice next time. This mindset has reduced my stress around food and has allowed me to enjoy life’s moments without feeling deprived.

Social and Emotional Benefits of a Balanced Approach

One of the often-overlooked challenges of restrictive diets is the emotional and social strain they impose. Excluding food groups can make eating out, social gatherings, and family meals stressful events. On the Paleo diet, I found myself dreading social occasions because I knew there would be foods that weren’t “allowed.” Constantly thinking about what I couldn’t eat took the joy out of social eating, making meals feel like minefields rather than opportunities to connect with people.

Embracing a balanced approach changed everything. Now, I can attend gatherings, enjoy food with friends, and celebrate holidays without feeling anxious. By letting go of rigid rules, I’ve allowed myself the freedom to enjoy meals without guilt. This flexibility has reduced the emotional burden of dieting and has allowed me to feel more relaxed around food. Ultimately, a balanced approach supports not only physical health but mental and social well-being too.

Building a Mindset for Lifelong Health and Enjoyment

My journey taught me that weight loss isn’t just about the food—it’s about building a positive mindset. When I focused solely on restriction, my relationship with food suffered. By shifting my perspective to focus on small, sustainable habits and developing a positive mindset, I’ve built a lifestyle that doesn’t feel like a constant struggle.

A big part of creating a healthy mindset is training your mind to view food as a source of enjoyment and nourishment, not as something to be feared. This mindset shift allows us to move away from the diet mentality and towards a lifestyle of mindful eating. It’s not about perfection; it’s about finding a balance that feels good, both mentally and physically.

In Shut Up and Choose, I advocate for what I call the “live life, love food, lose weight” approach. By making small, smart choices and allowing for flexibility, you can create a lifestyle that promotes health, happiness, and longevity. It’s about living fully and eating in a way that supports both your physical and emotional well-being.

The Takeaway: Ditching Restriction and Embracing Balance for Lasting Success

Ultimately, my journey off the Paleo diet taught me that restrictive diets can only take you so far. They’re great for quick results, but they rarely support lasting change. Instead, I’ve found that a balanced, inclusive approach to food is not only more enjoyable, but it’s also more effective for long-term weight management. By ditching the caveman rules and embracing all food groups, I’ve been able to achieve my weight-loss goals without sacrificing the foods I love.

For those looking to make a lasting change, focusing on mindset and embracing balance is key. This approach allows you to build a positive relationship with food, avoid the stress of restriction, and enjoy life without guilt. The goal isn’t to eat like our ancestors; it’s to create a way of eating that supports our modern lives and individual needs.

As I share in my book Shut Up and Choose and the video course Live Life, Love Food, Lose Weight, the path to sustainable weight management isn’t about following extreme diets. It’s about making small, mindful choices that feel good now and are manageable for the long run. By shifting away from rigid rules and embracing a more balanced approach, you can transform your relationship with food and achieve lasting health and happiness.

This journey isn’t about deprivation; it’s about making choices that allow you to live fully, enjoy your food, and stay on track without feeling restricted. So, if you’re ready to leave the caveman rules behind, start making those small, smart choices today—your future self will thank you.