Episode 202: Eating Your Feelings? Try Feeling Them Instead (Weird, Right?)

Jonathan Ressler

Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut the noise and the nonsense and all the bullshit out there in the diet industry and all that garbage and that fake shit that internet gurus and Instagram jerk-offs are throwing your way, trying to tell you, “Hey, do this and you’ll lose weight,” or “Do that.” It’s all a bunch of shit.

So today we’re going to go into that place where we don’t coddle your excuses anymore and we call them out. You know those deep, dark, snack-filled corners of your soul where you whisper to yourself, “It’s just one cookie,” while you’re holding the entire sleeve of Oreos like it’s a life raft.

That’s right. Today’s episode is called Eating Your Feelings. Try Feeling Them Instead. Weird, right? Because let’s be real. You didn’t accidentally eat half a pizza last night. Your feelings drove the bus and your stomach was just the hostage.

So today we’re going to talk about emotional eating. That age-old habit of trying to fix your feelings with food. Feeling sad? Ice cream. Feeling stressed? Chips. Feeling bored? Hey, let’s just open the fridge and stare at it like it holds all the answers to life’s meaning.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stared at an empty fridge looking for something to eat. Or let me rephrase that. I stared at a full fridge looking for something to eat and couldn’t find it. And the truth is, it’s not in there. Whatever you’re looking for, it’s not in there.

And I’m not judging you, because I’m guilty of it myself. We’ve all been there.

Emotional eating is one of the most common, sneaky little saboteurs of progress on any weight loss journey. I’m guilty of it, for sure. But what makes it so dangerous isn’t the food itself. It’s the mindlessness of it.

You know I’m all about mindful eating. Emotional eating is mindless eating. It’s that “I had a rough day, so I deserve this” bullshit that turns into a 600-calorie snack and then spirals into “Oh my God, why did I do that?” shame.

But here’s the thing. Food is not therapy. Food is fuel. You wouldn’t pour vodka into your gas tank and expect your car to run. Although I know some people have tried it. So why are you stuffing Doritos in your mouth expecting them to fix your loneliness, your stress, or your boredom?

I get it. Eating shitty food feels good. It gives you that dopamine hit. That little rush of “ahhh” when the world feels overwhelming. But it’s temporary. We all know that.

And when the snack is gone, the stress is still there. Only now it has a side order of regret.

Before you jump in with “Hey Jonathan, I deserve a treat.” Yeah, maybe you do. But let’s not confuse treating yourself with self-sabotage.

Eating your feelings doesn’t make them go away. It just delays them. You’re not solving anything. You’re numbing yourself with calories.

And I say this because I’m guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I did this for years. And occasionally, I still do it.

In this episode, we’re going to get real about emotional eating. I’m going to walk you through how to spot it, what causes it, and most importantly, how to stop letting your emotions run your refrigerator.

You can’t out-exercise emotional eating. You can’t out-salad shame. You have to face it head on.

So if you’re ready for that, good. Because it’s time to stop soothing yourself with snacks and start dealing with your shit like a grown adult.

Let’s define emotional eating.

Emotional eating is any time you eat for reasons other than physical hunger. That’s it. Any time you eat for reasons other than actual physical hunger, that’s emotional eating.

It’s using food as comfort, distraction, reward, punishment, celebration, coping. Basically everything except fuel.

Emotional eating is when your heart is hurting, your brain is fried, your soul is screaming, and instead of dealing with the issue, you give your mouth a job to do. Because chewing is easier than feeling.

Again, I’m guilty. I’m not judging.

And emotional eating doesn’t always look like crying into a pint of ice cream at midnight. Sometimes it’s subtle. It’s snacking because you’re bored. Eating past full because it’s comforting. Eating cake because “that’s what you do.”

Here’s the wild part. Emotional eating isn’t even about food. It’s about escape.

Food gets tied to feelings early in life. You fall and scrape your knee, you get a cookie. You ace a test, you get pizza. That wiring sticks.

And emotional eating works for about five minutes. That dopamine hit is real. Then comes the crash. The guilt. The “why the fuck did I do that?” moment.

Now you have the original problem plus regret.

This isn’t about willpower. You’re not weak. You’re stuck in a pattern.

Food has become your therapist, your best friend, your numbing agent.

And here’s the mic-drop moment. Until you separate your emotions from eating, no diet, no meal plan, no calorie tracker will save you.

That’s why people do everything right all day and crash at night. They’re emotionally exhausted, not hungry.

So let’s talk red flags.

Red flag number one. “I’m not hungry. I just need a snack.” No. You’re bored, restless, or procrastinating.

If your stomach isn’t growling and your energy isn’t dipping, you’re not hungry. You’re emotionally fidgety.

Red flag number two. “I’ve been good all day, so I deserve this.” That’s emotional bargaining.

You’re not good or bad based on what you eat.

Red flag number three. Eating in secret. If you’re hiding food, that’s shame. And shame is a flashing emotional warning sign.

Another red flag. Eating past full and feeling like shit afterward. Hunger stops when you’re full. Emotional eating keeps going until you punish yourself enough to stop.

Another red flag. Specific cravings. If it has to be chips, chocolate, pizza, or mac and cheese, that’s emotional eating chasing dopamine.

If you have to debate it, it’s probably not hunger.

The pause is everything.

That moment where you ask, “Am I actually hungry, or am I tired, sad, or stressed?” That pause can save you thousands of calories over time.

So what do you do instead?

First. Feel the fucking feelings.

The emotion won’t disappear because you drowned it in ranch dressing. Sit with it. Feel it. Cry. Scream. Punch a pillow. It will pass.

Second. Create a pause. Five minutes. Ask yourself if you’re actually hungry. Ask if food will fix it.

Third. Name the emotion. Stress. Shame. Loneliness. Naming it gives you control.

Build a coping toolbox. Walk. Call someone. Journal. Music. Clean. Drink water. Dance in your kitchen like a lunatic.

If you still want to eat, do it mindfully.

Use a plate. Sit down. No phone. No bag eating. Taste it.

Mindful eating turns guilt into choice.

You’re not going to break emotional eating overnight. But you can break it one pause at a time.

You don’t need more information. You need more consistency.

Emotional eating is a habit loop. Emotion. Trigger. Eat. Regret. Repeat.

Break it by interrupting it.

You’ll fuck up. That’s human. The goal is faster recovery.

Have a misstep without making it a meltdown.

Celebrate small wins. One cookie instead of twelve is a win.

Breaking emotional eating is about resilience, not restriction.

You don’t need to eat your feelings. You need to feel them and move on.

If you made it this far, congratulations.

Emotional eating isn’t a weakness. It’s common. Life is hard. Food is easy.

Easy doesn’t get results.

You can break the cycle with awareness, intention, and small, smart choices.

You’re not broken. You’re learning.

So what’s it going to be today? Snack your stress, or shut up and choose a better way?

If you want more, my book Shut Up and Choose is on Amazon. And I have a video course, the Effortless Weight Loss Academy.

This is a mental game.

That’s it for today.

Shut up and choose.