I used to wake up every single morning, drag myself to the mirror, and mutter, “I feel fat today.”
It was my default line, almost like a mantra. I didn’t even think about it — it just came out.
But after years of saying it, one day it hit me: that sentence makes no sense.
“Feeling fat” isn’t a thing. Fat isn’t an emotion.
It’s not sadness, frustration, boredom, or stress. It’s a physical condition — the result of thousands of choices stacked up over time.
And once I understood that? That’s when my entire weight loss journey finally started to make sense — and more importantly, started to work.
Why “I Feel Fat” Is a Trap That Keeps You Stuck
When I used to say “I feel fat,” I wasn’t really talking about my emotions. I was avoiding a much harder truth: I had created a body I hated living in.
By turning that reality into a feeling, I gave myself a loophole.
Feelings pass, right? So if I “felt fat,” I could just wait to “feel” better.
I didn’t have to take ownership. I didn’t have to change my habits.
And that meant the weight kept piling on while I stayed stuck in my own excuses.
What I eventually realized was this:
- Saying “I feel fat” focuses on the effect (my size).
- It ignores the cause (my daily choices and habits).
- It makes you powerless, because you’re blaming something you can’t control (“a feeling”) instead of owning what you can control (your decisions).
Once I stopped using that phrase, I could finally face reality:
Every pound on my body was there because of the choices I made — not because of bad luck, bad genetics, or bad vibes.
And if my choices put it there, my choices could take it off.
The Hard Truth (That No Diet Will Tell You)
For years, I thought carbs were my enemy. Or sugar. Or not working out enough. Or the bread basket at dinner.
But none of those things were the real problem.
The real problem was how I thought about my weight — and how that thinking shaped my actions.
Every time I said, “I feel fat,” I was programming myself to believe I was a victim, like this just happened to me.
The reality?
I didn’t “catch” fat like a virus.
I earned it.
Not in one giant mistake, but in a thousand tiny ways:
- Skipping sleep and eating like garbage the next day.
- Stress-eating my way through late nights at work.
- Choosing fast food because it was easy.
- Telling myself I “deserved it” after a long week.
- Saying, “I’ll start Monday,” for years.
Each of those choices felt harmless in the moment.
Stacked together, day after day, they built a 411-pound body.
That’s not meant to be a shame statement. It’s an empowering truth.
Because the same way I earned my way into that body, I could earn my way back out.
The Difference Between Accountability and Shame
This is where most people screw up on their weight loss journey.
They think taking responsibility means beating themselves up.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
When I was at my heaviest, I had two choices:
- Stay stuck in shame, telling myself I was disgusting and hopeless.
- Or, accept that my habits created this — and that meant I had the power to change it.
Shame says: “You’re broken, you’ll never change.”
Accountability says: “You did this, but you can undo it.”
Once I stopped shaming myself and started owning my choices, I stopped “feeling fat” and started actually doing something about it.
How I Actually Lost 140 Pounds (Without Diets or a Gym)
I didn’t lose the weight by following a complicated diet plan, counting every calorie, or living in the gym.
I didn’t even “get motivated” in the traditional sense.
I lost 140 pounds by doing two things consistently:
- Making small, smart choices every time I opened my mouth.
- Building what I call my “Bounce-Back Muscle.”
Let’s break those down.
1. Small, Smart Choices Every Time I Ate
Every diet I tried before this failed because it asked me to overhaul my entire life at once.
Meal prep, calorie counting, cutting out food groups — it felt like a second job I didn’t have time for.
What I finally realized is that weight loss doesn’t require perfection.
It doesn’t even require major sacrifices.
It just requires making a slightly better choice most of the time.
Here’s how I did it:
- Instead of two bagels or donuts for breakfast, I had overnight oats.
- Instead of fast food for lunch, I grabbed a deli sandwich.
- At dinner, I ate what worked for my life (even pizza), but I stopped before I was stuffed.
- When I wanted dessert, I shared it or cut it in half.
I didn’t track, I didn’t ban foods, I didn’t starve.
I just made small, smart choices consistently — about 7 out of 10 times.
That’s it.
2. The Bounce-Back Muscle (The Real Secret)
For most of my life, one “bad” meal turned into a “bad” day.
Then a “bad” weekend.
Then the classic: “I’ll start Monday.”
That cycle kept me fat for decades.
The moment I stopped waiting for Monday and started bouncing back at the very next bite, everything changed.
I still slipped up. Everyone does.
But instead of spiraling, I course-corrected immediately.
And over time, that became automatic.
That skill — not willpower, not a diet — is what actually made my weight loss stick.
How You Can Stop “Feeling Fat” and Start Losing Weight
If you’re stuck in the same cycle I was, here’s what I recommend (and what I teach my clients):
- Stop saying “I feel fat.”
Replace it with: “I feel uncomfortable because I’ve been off track. What’s one small, smart choice I can make right now to change that?” - Focus on today, not Monday.
Don’t plan a “start date.” Start now. Even if your next meal is dinner, make it a smart one. - Make 1% improvements, not overhauls.
Swap one thing at each meal.
Drink water instead of soda.
Take a 10-minute walk instead of crashing on the couch. - Build your Bounce-Back Muscle.
When you slip (and you will), don’t wait. Get back on track at the next bite, not Monday. - Track your wins, not your weight.
I started focusing on habits — not the scale. The weight dropped as a byproduct.
The Bottom Line
Feeling fat isn’t real — and staying stuck in that mindset will keep you overweight forever.
Fat isn’t a feeling.
It’s a result of your habits.
And the good news?
You can change those habits.
You don’t need to overhaul your life, starve yourself, or spend 2 hours a day in a gym.
You just need to own your choices, make small, smart decisions consistently, and bounce back fast when you slip.
That’s how I went from 411 pounds to 271 — and kept going.
That’s how I stopped “feeling fat” and finally felt in control.
And that’s how you can start your own real weight loss journey — starting today!