For most of my life, I believed that weight loss required suffering.
Restrict. Deprive. Obey the rules. Start over on Monday. Punish yourself for failure. Repeat.
I lived inside that cycle for decades—and it almost broke me. But when I finally stopped dieting and started choosing, everything changed.
Let me explain.
I Was the King of Diets
If you name a diet, I’ve done it.
Keto? Yep. Paleo? Been there. Weight Watchers? Multiple times. Intermittent fasting? Tried it. Juice cleanses, soup diets, 30-day challenges—I’ve done them all. And like clockwork, each time I started, I’d be fueled by motivation and hope. This time, I told myself, would be different.
But it never was.
I might lose 10, 20, even 50 pounds… but I always gained it back. Every single time.
And every time I failed, I told myself it was me. I didn’t have enough willpower. I was lazy. I was weak. I was addicted to food. I needed to try harder, restrict more, commit deeper.
Sound familiar?
It took me hitting rock bottom—mentally, physically, and emotionally—to realize that the issue wasn’t me. The issue was the approach.
The difference between dieting and choosing is what ultimately helped me lose 140 pounds and keep it off for over two years. No extreme workouts. No insane meal plans. No apps. No shots. No BS.
Just choices. Small, smart ones. Made consistently.
Let me break this down for you.
Dieting Is Someone Else’s Voice in Your Head
Dieting, by definition, is external. It’s a program someone else created—someone who doesn’t know you, your lifestyle, your emotional triggers, your work schedule, or your relationship with food.
When I was dieting, I was constantly following someone else’s rules:
- “Don’t eat carbs after 6pm.”
- “You must track every bite in an app.”
- “You get 23 points today—spend them wisely.”
- “Only eat food from this list.”
- “No eating unless you’re starving.”
These weren’t guidelines—they were commandments. And when I “broke” them, I felt like a failure. Because dieting turns food into a moral battlefield. If I ate something off-plan, I wasn’t just making a different decision—I was bad. I was weak. I was guilty.
That mindset is poison. It’s unsustainable. It’s shame-driven. And it sets you up to fail—over and over again.
Choosing Gave Me My Power Back
Choosing is different. Choosing is internal.
It’s not about asking, “Is this allowed on my diet?”
It’s about asking, “Does this choice move me closer to who I want to become?”
When I started doing that, everything shifted.
Because here’s the truth: every time you put something in your mouth, you’re making a choice. Whether you admit it or not. Most of us just aren’t present for those choices. We eat while stressed, distracted, bored, or emotional. We’re not choosing—we’re reacting.
Choosing brought me back to presence. It made me accountable—not to a plan, but to myself.
And that’s when I stopped chasing the “perfect diet” and started creating the life I actually wanted to live.
The Monday Mindset Almost Killed Me
Let’s talk about the “Monday Mindset Trap.”
You know it. I know it. We’ve all lived it.
- You eat like crap on Friday night.
- You tell yourself you’ll “be good” on Monday.
- You binge all weekend to “get it out of your system.”
- Monday hits—you restrict, over-correct, white-knuckle your way through.
- By Thursday you’re exhausted. By Friday you “mess up” again.
- Rinse and repeat.
That mindset kept me stuck in a cycle for decades.
And let’s be clear: it’s not just bad for your body. It’s devastating for your self-esteem. Every time you “fail,” it reinforces the belief that you’re incapable of change. That you don’t have what it takes.
But here’s what I finally realized: It’s not a character flaw. It’s a system flaw. The system is designed to break you.
You weren’t made to live by someone else’s food rules for the rest of your life. Nobody was.
You Don’t “Break” When You Choose
One of the most powerful shifts I made was this:
When I made a poor choice, I didn’t throw the whole day away.
That was revolutionary.
See, diets taught me that if I messed up at lunch, the day was ruined. “Might as well have pizza for dinner too and start again Monday.”
But choosing taught me something else: each decision is a new opportunity.
You don’t need to wait until Monday. You don’t need to spiral. You just make a better choice next time.
No guilt. No shame. No starting over.
Just… choose differently. That’s it.
Here’s the part most people don’t want to hear:
I didn’t lose 140 pounds by being perfect. I didn’t follow a rigid plan. I didn’t eliminate entire food groups. I didn’t work out 6 days a week.
I just made better choices, more often than not.
- I drank water when I woke up instead of Diet Coke.
- I waited 15 minutes before grabbing a snack to see if I was actually hungry.
- I ordered a burger without the bun—not because carbs are evil, but because I knew I didn’t need the extra bread that day.
- I stopped eating in front of the TV and actually sat down at a table.
- I walked when I could. Not because I had to. But because I could.
These were small. Easy. Unsexy. But they were mine. And they added up.
Every choice was a vote for the person I wanted to become.
The big mistake most people make is this: they try to lose weight so they can finally be healthy.
I did it in reverse.
I focused on becoming healthy—mentally, emotionally, physically—and the weight came off as a side effect.
This is about identity.
It’s not “I want to lose 30 pounds.”
It’s “I want to become someone who makes healthy choices, even when it’s hard.”
Once you shift your identity, your choices begin to reflect that identity. And when your choices change, your results follow.
The Truth About Willpower
I don’t believe in willpower anymore.
It’s a myth. It’s a crutch. It’s something the weight loss industry invented to keep you blaming yourself instead of the system.
I didn’t lose 140 pounds because I suddenly discovered discipline.
I lost it because I stopped outsourcing my power to diets, plans, apps, and gurus.
I started trusting me.
I didn’t wait for the “perfect moment” or the “right plan.”
I made a better choice in the moment I was in.
Then I did it again. And again.
That’s it.
You Already Know What To Do
Most people don’t need more information. You already know the basics:
- Drink more water.
- Eat less processed crap.
- Move your body.
- Stop eating your feelings.
- Get more sleep.
But you’re stuck because you think it has to be all or nothing.
I’m here to tell you—it doesn’t.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to stop quitting.
And the way you stop quitting… is you stop dieting.
You start choosing.
What Choosing Looks Like in Real Life
Let me give you some examples from my life right now:
Old Dieting Mentality:
- “I can’t have cake. It’s not on plan.”
- “I already screwed up, might as well eat the whole pizza.”
- “I have to track every calorie or it doesn’t count.”
Choosing Mentality:
- “I’ll have a small piece of cake and really enjoy it, then move on.”
- “That wasn’t the best choice, but I can make a better one at dinner.”
- “I don’t need to track everything. I trust myself to make aligned choices.”
Choosing is about building self-trust. Not fear. Not restriction. Not punishment.
And when you trust yourself, everything changes.
Your Weight Isn’t the Problem
Let’s get real for a minute.
Your weight is not the root issue. It’s a symptom.
A symptom of years of emotional eating, stress, busyness, shame, and avoidance.
And diets don’t fix that. They just slap a bandaid on it and tell you to restrict harder.
Choosing forces you to be honest with yourself.
Why are you eating? What do you need right now? Who do you want to become?
This is the work. And it’s not always comfortable. But it’s always worth it.
You Don’t Need Another Diey
You don’t need to download another app.
You don’t need to do a 75-day challenge.
You don’t need to starve yourself or cut out entire food groups or punish yourself with workouts you hate.
You just need to wake up tomorrow and ask:
“What’s one small, smart choice I can make today that aligns with the life I want?”
Then do that.
And when you mess up? (Because you will…)
Don’t start over. Don’t beat yourself up.
Just choose again.
Final Thoughts: Stop Dieting. Start Choosing
I’m not special. I didn’t win the willpower lottery.
I just got sick of failing. I got tired of hating myself. I was done blaming myself for a system designed to keep me stuck.
So I burned the diets to the ground and started building something better—one decision at a time.
140 pounds later, I can tell you with full confidence:
The key to sustainable weight loss isn’t perfection—it’s presence.
Be present for your choices.
Own them.
Align them.
Stack them.
That’s how change happens.
So no, you don’t need to diet. You need to choose. Every day. In real life. With real food. With real habits.
And if you’re ready to stop dieting and start choosing… then let’s go.
The life you want is built on the choices you make today. And the next one is up to you.